3. It is Not Usual at Our House

Updated: Aug 28



My husband is saying do what I say or the kids can't have freedom. (warning description of psychological violence)


"I saw that school is notifying us about football. I'm not sure why you're not responding to me or Theresa, but I am firm about the passports being flagged until an arrangement is reached." This is important as he will use the children to override his Temporary Restraining Order. He will further use the children's ability to attend school to put a one year limit on the Separation Agreement and refuse to sign it unless I put this limit on it. This is dangerous because the Separation Agreement is an affirmation of the rights of each partner. Coercion is against the law. This is an example of psychological abuse and coercive control using mother's care for children.


He abducted the youngest, 13, during a court hearing. His lawyer Theresa MacLean told the judge she hadn't received the TRO in time.

She said my son had contacted his father and wanted to come.

But the father had been searching, coming to our hotel the night before and the morning of the abduction.


When he found the child, he contacted him through his phone, told the child to go to the restaurant where the father was waiting, then drove him for four hours to Peterborough, a trip that takes two hours.


The child was taken into a small windowless room inside the court lobby and they closed the door. I objected to this and then Theresa MacLean went and called two police officers to guard my child. She asked the child, who do you want to live with, in the lobby after this.


Divisional Court will rule in my favor. The child will not be returned consistently the children are used to gain control.


After the abduction I will go back to Hawaii to be with my other son who is in school. My partner will call, be angry I am back in Hawaii and tell me, "We are going after your mental health."


Then two women family members start calling my other child, the one I am with, asking him if I am acting mentally ill. This upsets him a great deal. "Do you realize what they are saying?' he says.

My partner has begun making up that his mental illness is mine, which he freely admits under oath. The judge says nothing.


I will go to police in Hawaii and they will ask if I want to press charges.

I go to a lawyer in Oahu who specializes in domestic violence. She says, tell them to use the kitchen phone. No one does. The older woman continues having the children taken to her house the next summer when they say they will be with me.

When we start the appeal, Theresa MacLean threatens to deport me. I am applying for my own visa after my partner says we can't go back unless I sign a one year Separation Agreement.

No matter what the law says, my partner uses the children to get what he wants.

In 2018 he uses our oldest to create a receipt that is false, that he uses to tell the judge I haven't repaid my son. My former partner has borrowed money from our son and he gets a very low support responsibility because he does this.


My son complained of blackouts after the abduction. He went to Emergency with me. My partner tried to stop us seeing a doctor and during the ride there, told my son to rename them 'zoneouts.'


This is an excerpt from "I Have Reason' my documentary film developed with Jason Michelle Patterson.

How does all this manipulation and violence energetically effect children?


We have to construct the divorce so that it is a good time for families. The court is not constructed for the judges and lawyers. If someone is using coercion on their family, that is not ok.


The news today has a story about an Indigenous mother from Saskatchewan who left Canada, planned her escape, as the system did not listen to her. It is important to look at the context.

There has been a sweeping deterioration of ethics in the court.


Judges in Canada can only be removed by Parliament or the Canadian Judicial Council. The Council is not overseen. There is a gap.1


The Federal Human Rights Commission does not have the CJC on its list. The CJC examines very few cases, Justice Camp being an example of one examined in 2017, an extreme example of what a sitting judge must do in order to be examined. https://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/justice-robin-camp-judicial-council-1.4017233. If a judge transfers a child to violent parent, and you appeal, if you win you have no recourse if the parent does not release your child.


We sought an appeal at Ontario Divisional Court in Ontario and won. Three judges said the father had influenced the child. They wrote that Judge MacLeod made palpable error and his orders were therefore overturned. Judge Wilson wrote that the father influenced the child 'and should not be rewarded'. Further Ontario judges did not honor the rulings of these judges. The lawyers with my partner did not return the child, and continued to tell the story that I was mentally ill. In court my partner admitted that he transferred his violence to me when speaking to others, but the judge did not comment. When told that providing child support would condone child abduction the Ontario judge provided the abducting parent with child support. This was after my child was forced to add by his father and the father's lawyer, 'He will live primarily with the father,' to his own written decision to leave custody of his father.

The child was never returned. He was disallowed contact.


But what is this all about? Is it that government needs to have its hands on family life? The fees paid to the services bankrupt parents. The very rich life of a family reduced to something a stranger in power ascertains is nonsensical.




see Culture Change https://www.kalafilmbooktv.com/post/culture-change


Canada: Bill C-78 makes Primary Consideration psychological safety of children.2

Judges are not responding. Long term effects of psychological abuse are: self harm, aggressiveness.

"Separation and divorce as a protective factor. Most research on the impact of divorce points to the greatest harm to children coming from ongoing conflict and violence rather than divorce per se (Kelly & Emery, 2003)



'I Have Reason' which will explore solution by Indigenous Elders, Hawaiian Kapunas, and experts in France of this large problem of psychological violence against youth in their own homes.


For a mother to protect her child from a partner using violence is a difficult if not impossible case in Canada at this time.


1 Public Servants Disclosure Protection Act 2005 - Federal Human Rights Commission of Canada - rules

jurisdiction President of Treasury Board

Public Sector..

2.1

Schedule 1

Financial Administration Act i.1-V CJC not listed. There is a gap.


Both judges from the first hearing: Judge J. S. MacLeod and

Judge Patrick Monahan from the 2018 trial, had been judges for only one year.


"Angela Garbes writes in her new book, “Essential Labor: Mothering as Social Change.” Raising kids is “not a private hobby, not an individual duty,” she goes on. “It is a social responsibility, one that requires robust community support. The pandemic revealed that mothering is some of the only truly essential work humans do.” 5


2 Best Interests of the Child https://www.parl.ca/documentviewer/en/42-1/bill/c-78/first-reading

"Best Interests of child

Primary Consideration

2 When considering the factors referred to in subsection (3), the court shall give primary consideration to the child’s physical, emotional and psychological safety, security and well-being.


BC court is sued by Class Action

Ontario you would have to wait for Appeal to find a judge impartial https://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/man-can-sue-ex-wifes-lawyer-court-rules/article975957/

https://www.kalafilmbooktv.com/post/why-is-domestic-violence-hidden-in-our-culture

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