Updated: Aug 19
When we give so much power to a judge to decide our future we have to ask why. (warning examples of psychological and physical abuse)
I had experiences of Ontario judges ignoring other judge's rulings to face a completely different reality within twenty four hours.
When my child was abducted he was taken during a hearing. We lived in a rural area in the US and on that day he began to live with his father in a one bedroom apartment in Toronto, with his own key. He had no friends, or loved ones.
I continued in the court though I did not want to. My lawyer told me we had a strong case and he filed on the last day. He said, we must do it for my child.
We won the case, my lawyer telling me that the other lawyer had very little law in her argument.
When I got back to Ontario in the summer, about three months after both courts had named Hawaii the place for the divorce (as we all live there. In Ontario we were homeless). I made a date in late July to have my son returned to me. We saw each other frequently before this at a cottage I rented but I did not want an early summer hearing.
My son was not at his apartment. The father had bought a house and moved both children, without telling me. When I went to police I told the sergeant, my ex husband will lie to you, and I heard the sergeant talking to him, and saying, no sir, I can't listen to that.
But when the police officers went to the new home where my sons were, they became similar to many others have become once they listen to my ex husband. My son did speak to me so I could see that he was all right, but that was all.
Later in the week, my ex husband used material he had his lawyer write which was false and intimidating. He used language like illegal alien. When this lawyer wrote to me he said things like 'you are delusional', when I told him my son was missing.
Later in the year my former partner filed for control of the property in the states using the argument writing that I was living in a mental institution, had left the house in disarray (my son graduated and he and I left together, there was no disarray, the house was as we always left it) 1
The lawyer wrote that I most likely wouldn't show up for the eviction hearing as I had not that past summer. That past summer he himself wrote a letter to Homeland Security tampering with my status for my ex partner. I could not enter the US because of this letter, yet he claimed this was negligence on my part. The notice was sent to my US mailbox, probably so I would not see it. It said I was living in a mental institution. ( I was at my parents' house)
I ran into several women while in family court offices in Toronto, some with very young children, being or had been, evicted by their partners.
This is a practice either of lawyers creating conflict, or coercive control by a partner, or both. There are scare tactics, false stories made up to make a reason to evict. It is the opposite of care of families when they separate, particularly women with children and it is common. By being aggressive, a partner can claim need to control the sale, therefore creating financial abuse, virtually creating homelessness.
The power structure inside the court rewards aggression. These individuals begin to become the core. It is a palpable energy, quick, shocking.
When my ex husband's lawyer wrote the letter to Homeland Security he was tampering with my status. Then he was overturning orders alone, not at appeal court. He overturned an order for support which had been initiated in October 2015, cancelled in August 2016.
During that eleven months my former partner had been using for himself, slightly less than half of the support payment each month, for himself.
Since he overturned the order by tampering with my passport, an illegal activity, reclaimed custody and stopped the support order, he was only showing he could do what he had already been doing. My son had still been kept and the money was already being used by the father for himself. These orders did not change any disbursement, or right to see my child. My son had already been abducted, moved.
What had changed?
He separated the sale of our Hawaii house from the divorce in Toronto at that hearing. 2
What is intent?
Judge Monahan, upon learning that psychologists found no trace of ADHD asked in our child, said, well if he is slow shouldn’t something be done? (drugs)
Judge Monahan is a former Ontario Deputy Attorney General and was appointed judge by the federal government in 2017, just one year before he sat in court in our trial.
At one point he got angry at the court reporter because the internet was slow. I could she that she was angry, not at that, but earlier, by what was going on in the room. I could see it in her eyes.
I was watching and could see that he was assessing me as a wife. This was strange. I was uncomfortable. At the time I assumed he had some experience as a judge.
I told him that if he gave the father child support he would be supporting child abduction but he did order this support. The father had groomed the child, this was decided by Ontario Divisional Court, Hawaii Third Circuit Court, but Judge Monahan did not read the material, or he didn't care. The other party admitted to making up a fake mental illness brand transferring his own use of violence to me, the judge made no comment either in his courtroom or in his writing. There was a gap.
Expenses that I had to pay the court, like a Views and Preferences of the Child Report, an Accounting Audit of my ex partner's relationship with his girlfriend's company, expensive and quite poor quality therapy treatments for my son, were expensive. They had little value in the courtroom. These treatments are created by the court.
My former partner was able to talk Judge Monahan into the logic that though he had broken the Separation Agreement and blocked me from using money that was put aside for my use, I should be punished for using part of an education fund, what was accessible.
In 2018 my former partner sold the property in the states and tried to keep it from me (investigation by a Hawaii lawyer).
When he discovered he needed my signature, then began threats that I would hold up the sale.
When I would not agree to take 20,000. which he said I must, or lose it all and he would give my share to his lawyer in litigation. He sent an obscene picture. 1
In 2015, Judge MacLeod, the first Peterborough judge, who ignored the TRO that was current, on the day of the abduction, had been a judge only one year.
A woman lawyer told me that he addressed her by her first name, which she found unusual, and in itself is not much.
He kept my son in the lobby all day, saying he was going to talk to him privately, and then said he would not because there might be an appeal. This gave me a clue that this judge was not impartial. He was anticipating an appeal.
Linda Chodos, a respected child psychologist did the Views and Preferences of the Child Report. My former partner admitted violence to the children while infants, to her. She wrote that the child who had been abducted did not have his own views. He had been influenced to say he wanted to live with his father.
Judge MacLeod ruled in favor of the father two weeks later.
By this time my child said, "Mom I am having blackouts, two an hour. I woke up in a public washroom."
The decision by Judge MacLeod to put a child with a person who had a TRO changed our lives forever.
My mother, sister, both were taking my child when he wanted to be with me. My sister would drive my son on weekends, or take him from his father when he travelled. She had told me to leave my son with her when we came to Ontario and I said no, you can visit us at the lake.
She cited this in a letter she wrote to Judge MacLeod, saying that my mother thought I was mentally ill. In a separate letter to me, my sister said, your inheritance will be given to your children, she wrote and signed, Reporter, Toronto Star, describing power.
She had called me asking me to come and live in her basement with one of my sons. I asked her if she had read The Handmaid's Tale, she did not understand the reference, put this conversation in her letter she sent to my former partner who submitted it to Judge MacLeod, unsigned.
This all went together with what my former partner had told me, "We are going after your mental health." He made this story up though he was suffering from what appeared to be psychotic episodes.
When he admitted this to Judge Monahan at the trial, I assumed the judge would note it, would say, well, this man lied, and he has mental illness and uses violence. This is context. The judge was triggered by me using an education fund I had established and saved, after my partner blocked the joint account. My former partner began crying, took a break. I discovered when I got home that Justice Kavanaugh had also cried that same afternoon.
Evidence showed that I had taken a loan to make mortgage payments because there wasn't enough coming in. I had both children. Yet Judge Monahan was angry like Theresa MacLean was angry that I used an education fund that I had set up as it still had my name on it. I had an apartment to pay for in Toronto for the duration of this trial but the other party was again threatening to stop paying support.
The other party explained under oath, that he had a big check coming in, and he took my name off the account. (violating the separation agreement)
Cause and effect means the family has to find another way to make ends meet. My son would have been out of school, our house foreclosed.
He stopped making mortgage payments on the other property, swore on his financial statement that he did pay but was not censured by Judge Patrick Monahan. He took my name of the account, refused to pay tuition, tried to force our child to finish his last year of high school in Toronto, (our son left on his own with my help) and if a judge does not follow the through line, there is bias.
I had shown him many many cheques - payments of arrears I made because of the bank blockage, three months of arrears that came out of my share of our Ontario property.
Working with a real estate lawyer in Toronto, all family debt, tax, had been cleared through its sale. The complete opposite happened with our other house.
Judge Monahan would not allow my accountant's testiony. Judge Kristjansen had ordered each party to have an accountant particant expert witness in the trial, during her pre-trial conferences.
The judge used my ex husband's accountant for me.
That accountant said he had no idea of my income for two years. He said that Theresa MacLean had driven to his office to get an Affidavit from him. She submitted statements to him asking him what he thought of me.
My husband was able to get past this judge, a false receipt.
My ex husband borrowed 3,ooo, asked my son for a receipt.
In court he presented the receipt saying, this is a debt I paid for my wife. She refused to pay our son.
Judge Monahan did not believe me when I said this was false.
Presented with many checks of arrears payments and tuition payments to keep my son in school of many thousands of dollars, Judge Monahan believed I would cheat my son.
A reduced Order for support was based on this false receipt. (and using the ed fund) His writing is astonishing, its tone.
A Burlington judge from a Human Rights background, in the family court found financial abuse in a woman's disclosures of her husband's doing and remarked that this must be happening to other women. (2021)
She is correct. It is vast and the courts exacerbate it. If children are afraid to talk to their mother, who is being extorted, it is because they are hearing it and seeing it all.
Until 2019 I would be contacted by virtual strangers asking me questions, and intimating they knew something about me. In particular two women who asked me when I was returning to Toronto.
My father told me that my son told him I was mentally ill.
My son had been called by his wife, probably in front of him. My son's grandmother and aunt both asking my son for information about how I was acting mentally ill. He was not calling them. He was upset and crying when he told me. 'Do you know what they are saying?' he said to me.
When the two women first began to try to influence my older child, calling him, I spoke to a lawyer. She said, to tell them to use the kitchen phone. I told them to not contact except by the kitchen phone. They had continued, his aunt using email, asking if it was private, counselling him on universities, telling him she was available 24/7. He finally left the house with his computer open and I saw them.
The effect upon my son was devastating. He had lost his brother, his father began asking him immediately to start signing papers for him. He was in his last year of high school and trying to study. I sent invitations to his graduation, no one replied.
These people were grooming my son after my younger son was kidnapped. People who groom children are from all types of life.
My youngest told me in whispers that his aunt, my sister, was introducing him to his cousin's friends. He was a country away. He knew too that something strange was happening.
My former partner and his girlfriend visited my father before he died last August, my mother wrote to me. I call her that but it is biological, not intentional. There is alcoholism in my family. I was completely cut off from the family/group after the abduction. They wrote that this was my fault and told me of my father's passing three days after he died.
There is sexual assault of minors in my former partner's family history and this was my most pressing concern. A member of his family moved to Ontario to be near my son. This in this family is not a secret, yet every appeal I made to them was met with silence.
The courts showed no power except to agree with the lawyer defaming in such loud voice. I have not ever in my life sat through such nonsense as she said in front of these people. Much worse than before, when I could at least leave.
When my son came to visit in the states while I was there having the house painted and my former partner was evicting me, my son had a huge meltdown. This is normal.
We had been at the movies, and he was very distraught, and a large boy, in the car on the drive home. I stopped several times and got out of the car.
When we got to our home, he became more agitated and I called information to get the police number should I need it, in emergency, and went outside for him to cool down. I could hear he was talking to his father, who was allowing the defamation, soothing him using defamation.
In an audio hearing a few days later with Ontario, Theresa MacLean tried to assert that I had called police on my son. When the judge began to react I said, that's untrue. I got the number but went out side - a time out for my son. Theresa MacLean said, isn't that worse?
it was as if, there would be no sense.
My older son and I had discussed mental illness and MacLean had this letter. I believe my son gave it to her so that she would understand his father, but she used it to get an order to monitor both my children's emails.
They have maybe emailed once or twice since then. I am not sure why, if they were told they weren't allowed to or if they knew it was not safe to contact me.
At one point during the summer when I had no contact with my children there was a fatal boating accident on the lake where my sons had grown up. I contacted my mother, writing that she had contributed to this, and she wrote, how crazy are you? No one wants to talk to you, confirming that she was with my children.
There are details I cannot say because my children deserve some privacy, but I can say that they were used in totality.
The certainty is that as the escalation happened, communication was only in time of urgent need, and then nothing.
I hope to understand others' situations, what other people have gone through because I know this is not the only case. I have not seen my children despite visiting Toronto.
My youngest told me in tears that the groups says you are bad, and this includes my family and my former partner's family. My son told me if he contacted me, listened to what I had to say, another lawyer would be hired for him.
This had already happened. His father had hired the child lawyers after losing in Divisional Court -- without court or my permission, which Judge Paisley attempted to reverse.
Judge Paisley told said he hadn't seen this in twenty years, and dismissed Gottlieb, a child protection litigator and another one, Aalto.
During this hearing he did not know, as it was not revealed that my son had been moved to another house. The address on the motion was not real. I spoke briefly with my son after the hearing but after that the partner and his lawyers stopped the reintegration endorsed by Judge Paisley.
This system is still in place. Judges are still appointed. Parents, who are experts as I am in early childhood are ridiculed, mothers are taken from children. Families are separated.
The danger to children goes beyond the clear psychological violence, it also affects their vulnerablity to STDs, HIV, drug use, psychological impairment and decisions made from PTSD.
In 2016 after receiving this good endorsement from Judge Paisley, he acknowledged the results of the appeal, said I need do nothing further, I entered another courtroom to have it written into an order only to be accused of forging Judge Paisley's signature by Judge Horkins.
Judge Horkins is the judge from the Jian Ghomeshi trial. Though at first I thought he was accusing head clerk Mr. Akinosowe, who took the Order to Judge Paisley for signing, from the family court office. I realized after defending this person, that Judge Horkins meant me. His bias for everyone to see, I told him to call Judge Paisley. Theresa MacLean began yelling to the clerk, go get the judge. I want 2,000. for forgery. Akinosowe said he told her the signature was real before the hearing.1
But the real problem here is the well established pattern of using children for profit without oversight. The mother is fighting for her child, the system is fighting for control.
Judge make just under 300,000. per year. To abolish the court means that many will lose their well paid jobs. The fees are protected by orders. It is full of privilege and power, and I do not see how it can continue. I have been without contact with my children, not heard my younger son's voice in over two years.
The corruption is across the city.
When in April 2018 a rented van was driven on the sidewalk killing and injuring many people, my older son called as he was frightened I had been there. Each of us was terrified something would happen to the other while we were separated from each other, and that we would not be informed, or be able to care for each other.
The family court showed that it is a place where too many can be contemptuous and it does not protect children.
It allows partner to use psychological and financial, and physical violence.
There is a pattern that flows through the court. It is a self replicating place that keeps its power by denying people their rights and protecting itself.
This cannot continue for other children and their loving parents.
“Shall we admit them only to a partnership of suffering and sacrifice and toil and not to a partnership of privilege and right?” Woodrow Wilson, 1918.
1 'Financial control includes behaviours that are used to control how a woman acquires or uses income and financial exploitation includes behaviours that are used to diminish a woman’s income and assets.'
2 The second property was sold six weeks after the trial ended. My former partner kept 98%
Ad astra per aspera - To the Stars through difficulties! K.