Search

A Mother's Blog Part 3



What is going on in the background to this enormous action?

My older son had already returned to Hawaii. He played football with his school team and I arrived back in Hawaii to see his last game. He had played in grade 7 with the Waimea team, and always loved to play. There was nothing further I could do in Ontario.


I arranged with my lawyer to appeal the jurisdiction decision made by the Peterborough judge. This would take 6 months and much thought and care. We ultimately decided that appealing was the best decision.


Shortly after I arrived back in Hawaii, my son came to me. He was very upset. He told me, mom, this person and this person have been calling me and asking about your mental health. Do you realize this?

I did not and made some phone calls. One was to my former partner and his response was, we are going after your mental health. Hearing this I called a lawyer in Oahu with a service which works for free for violence against women. I asked the lawyer for help in dealing with the people who were calling my son. She said that two sentences were required by email; that my son no long er had a phone and that all phone calls would go through the house line and that I would be present for these communications.


I emailed both people. Several months later I discovered that one of the people continued to contact my son, in fact she contacted him the same day, calling me by my name, and saying this was harsh, she did not agree. Was his email private? Further to that there were several other contacts which encouraged a new phone, and constant communication with him, including conferencing about colleges.


Also about the time I found the messages I received an email from my former partner's lawyer saying that (paraphrasing) if I did not stop the appeal, one phone call to homeland security would have me removed and the appeal would be moot. I was in the middle of an application of my own, to secure my own visa, which was written into the separation agreement, a legal document we both signed.


These constant threats to my family were very upsetting. I continued to make contact with my younger son in Toronto. He told me several things that were also upsetting, including conversations he overheard from adults around him.


I went to police in Kamuela/Waimea, the town we lived in. The officer, who I knew from baseball, as he was a baseball parent and my son played with his daughter, he asked me if I wanted to press charges against the person who was contacting a minor against custodial parents' permission. I said no, I did not want to wreck her life.


There were issues of poor boundaries already in the extended family, very serious issues. I was in constant contact with my children as I knew that these had not been healed and were very serious.


We 'won' the appeal, which means the Peterborough judge was overturned on both orders; that the father had custody and that Ontario had jurisdiction.

In a separate hearing, the Hawaii court also decided that Ontario had jurisdiction over the divorce. The judge noted that we were Canadian citizens and that this was unusual but that the children's lives were in the state, their doctors, teachers, and friends were here.



19 views