Updated: Sep 22, 2019
End of Year Celebration; Author teaching art as a volunteer in Hawaii
as I saw my children's choices been taken from them, I decided to act. This is my say.
This patriarchy that we live under is destroying families. Families do not end with divorce. Divorce is meant to free.
In September 2015, on the 17th day, I arrived in Peterborough, Ontario, Canada for a jurisdiction hearing which I was to eventually earn to be Hawaii, through appeal. My family lived in Hawaii. We purchased a home there in 2005 and we began living full-time in 2010. My husband suffered from mental health/anger issues. We lived in a safe community.
On September 17, 2015, this lawyer stated that a Temporary Restraining Order was not served on until August 10 of 2015. This was false. Her office had signed for the temporary restraining order on May 28, 2015. My former partner's lawyer stated the wrong date over and over, in a large voice while looking at me. She continued to say that I was using this late service as a ruse to keep my children from her client. This did not make sense as a temporary restraining order's purpose is to make children and women safe. My former partner was not allowed to come within 300 yards of myself or the children, at home or at school. It would make no sense to delay service.
For three years, this date was what appears to be, the tip of an iceberg of false accusations which separated my children from each other, and from me.
In September, 2018, this lawyer brought copies of the TRO and stated they were served on May 28, 2015. On May 28, 2015, this lawyer's office signed for the TRO.
Three years after she said she did not receive the restraining order she said she did receive the restraining order.
This series of blogs will document what appears to be the harassment of myself and my children.
At this hearing on September 17, 2015, the lawyer would give a letter to the judge.
Unsigned and written by a family member whom I rarely saw, she claimed that I had mental health issues. This was injurious. It was also untrue. My former partner admitted in court that he put his own issues on me. This does not excuse the family members who became involved. They were to continue to 2019, to become the veritable care givers to my children. It was to these people that my children were driven, even after my children said they wanted to visit me.
Before the hearing on September 17, 2019, the relative had called me, asking me to move into her basement with my son and put him in school with her child.
She and her husband and her child had visited us twice in Hawaii, once over Christmas at our home. She knew where we lived. My older son had already returned home to Hawaii and started the school year. I found her question to be bizarre. I said no. I was with a family friend at the time, and with my son.
I asked her if she had read The Handmaid's Tale.
In court two weeks later, she wrote this letter claiming mental illness on my part. I am not sure if the letter was a reprisal for not going to her house, but the letter was read into the court and I noticed that she had written that I asked her about reading The Handmaid's Tale. Later, my Hanai mom in Hawaii said that it was good this was in the register.
This claim appears to be a continual threat. My former partner admitted under oath that he had told one of my parents who I also rarely saw, that I had this issue with anger and mental illness.
This appears to be harassment.
Canada must have laws which protect family members of violent and mentally ill partners.
So, on September 17, 2015, I arrived in Peterborough expecting a rudimentary hearing to discuss which jurisdiction, Hawaii or Ontario, was the right place to carry on a divorce. As we were residing in Hawaii, I believed that place to make the most sense. We had lived there for 5 years. This would be most peaceful for the children.
What occurred was;
1) my son was abducted from his babysitter.
2) The partner's lawyer stated that the 13 year old had been contacting his father all night.
3) The unsigned letter was put into evidence that I was unfit. The lawyer claimed the temporary restraining order was not sent until early August of 2015 and three years later admitted it was sent to her on May 28, 2015.
4) The child was in his father's car for more than 3 hours.
5) The child was taken into a small windowless room by the lawyer and father.
6) I said that could not happen and two police officers came and segregated my son in a corner of the room. The police sat across from each other and crossed their legs, forming a 'fence'
7) The judge gave the child to the father, with temporary custody.
8) My child was held in this lobby while proceedings went on. This became a full day. He was in shock.
9) The father admitted he sought the child in a phone call afterwards. I knew this was the case because he had been lurking outside the hotel at night, contacting in an attempt to bring the child outside. During these episodes I would go outside and follow my son to make sure he was safe. On one occasion the father took him to outside another hotel.
This would begin a three year fight for my own and my children's freedom.
At this hearing, at which my child, 13, who only lived in a rural environment, disappeared from his caregiver while her back was turned, and was driven for several hours, to the courthouse. He was taken into a small, windowless, room by the lawyer and father. This, I witnessed. When I objected, two police officers appeared and blocked my access to my child. My child now sat alone in the corner of the lobby. I found 'Goodnight Moon' on a shelf and started to hum.
The judge read only the first sentence of the temporary restraining order which detailed an incident of babyhood. The judge said, 'This happened a long time ago." The judge ignored the remainder of the page which detailed incidents to date.
Six months later the judge's orders were overuled by Divisional Court, the appeal court. By this time the child was experiencing black outs.
The father did not return the child.
Hawaii, separately, and without knowledge of Ontario's decision, ordered that Hawaii had jurisdiction.
Ontario Divisional court agreed (without knowledge of agreement) with Hawaii, that Hawaii had jurisdiction.
The judges (3) at this appeal said that the Peterborough judge made palpable errors in both orders and they were removed.
One month before the Appeal to Divisional court, the lawyer of my partner wrote to me that if I didn't withdraw my appeal, 'one call to Homeland Security would have me deported' and the appeal would be 'moot'. I was with our older child at the time. This would mean, should she be successful the older child was alone.
When this situation was reported to the Law Society, the case worker said they did not police lawyers.
I made a complaint to Toronto Police in September of 2018, seeing that there was no protection in place at any level of the family court, or from police. Instead of protecting, a police officer threatened me (I held a non-removal order from Hawaii for the children as well as the restraining order)
A police officer who said he would not discuss the restraining order with the children, did exactly that, my children told me.
In Ontario the restraining order was not valid.
In Hawaii, however, a restraining order is served by police and consequences are severe for contacting partner and children under such order regardless of where in the world you are.
Family members must not be allowed to entertain grudges during divorce. Lawyers and judges must have consequences for unilateral decisions.
Outcomes for boys:
group surrounding them who are creating an atmosphere of devaluing women who are mothers.
This is a false biosphere.